if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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