Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
