The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
