They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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