Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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