dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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