we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
