i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
