I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
