I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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