Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
