Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
