I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
