There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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