I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
