don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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