the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
