i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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