you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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