Kiss
Puke
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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