Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
