okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
