Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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