AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
