I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
