found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
