I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
