I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
