Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
