i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
