we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
