Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
