We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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