I just saw a hot homeless man
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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