So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I bet he comes in French.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
