Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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