So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
