We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
