It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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