So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
