Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize