speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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