Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
