I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize