You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize