I don't think brook has ever known best
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
