shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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