she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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