I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
