So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
