i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
