its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
