You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
