I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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