We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
