I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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