I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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