your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
