Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
