I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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