I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
