You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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