you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
