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that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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