She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
my poor anus
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
