So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
